sparkletastic | [ Closed to Lulu ] Cerealia Catch-All Party Time

Entry tags:

[ Closed to Lulu ] Cerealia Catch-All Party Time

type » ⌞ cerealia ⌝ meeting you changed me (and my diet)
characters » Koujaku || kaba & Megumi Yukimura || mistified & Klavier Gavin || glamorizes
details » Klavier and Koujaku are gonna be friends, Megumi is going to wish a plant made better friends with Koujaku
notes & warnings » flirting, hentai plants?? What is this.

[ Stuff will go here - original thread for Klavier is here.

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[ And here’s an idiot making the best of the situation by hanging around the tech district and spreading love and joy where there may be. The thought of it might be too sweet and cloying even for him, but what can you do? The sun is shining, the birds are singing, people are out playing some shitty Rhyme knockoff…

And he’s never been happier. ]

But you can’t let it get you down, can you? You know what they say, “You can’t love life until you live it!” [ Bastardized from his fortune, of course. Be afraid. ]

[ Yeah, he's been noticing friends and strangers alike acting strange, but this one? Thiiiis one, is a rather interesting and weird predicament- that doesn't seem as dangerous as a lot of others he's been witnessing. The only look Koujaku will get to that response is a somewhat befuddled look, before he finally shakes his head. ]

This isn't exactly the kind of living I signed up for, ja? I'd rather have my world in one piece and people not deciding to jump each other for... less than pleasant things.

[ Or being frighteningly cheery. Come to think of it, he's also trying to make sure Koujaku isn't about to stab him with a weapon or something... ]

You seem pretty happy where you are, though.

[ He’s used to that kind of look by now, anyway—he gets plenty of those even when normal, so hey. Hey, you. Kid. Yes. You. IGNORE THAT GIANT SWORD. He’s kind of forgotten that it’s even there in the first place, though he’s just as quick to defend anyone who needs defending, real or imagined. ]

Unpleasant things? [ Give him a moment—thinking was never his strong suit. ]

Like…split ends? [ He's very serious about this. ]

[ Split... ends...

Well, Klavier can't deny it, That is really a problem and as much as he'd love to say that this guy has his priorities straight... that isn't exactly the case here.

So, he does what any normal guy faced with an answer like that would- laughs at it. ]

The driest of split ends. Maybe worse.

[ He's still not convinced that Koujaku isn't kind of insane though. ]

Which you don't seem to have to worry about, eh? Your hair looks as nice as that smile on your face.

[ Please don't be crazy, handsome dude. ]

So, have you always been this pleasant, or am I just lucky?

[ Herein Koujaku deems that laughter inoffensive—which means he’s really got it—whatever it is—really bad right now. Or good. At this rate it could go anywhere.

He beams at Klavier. The effect isn’t quite as amazing since he can’t pull it off half as well as Clear can, but he tries. ]

I’d say you caught me in a pretty good mood. [ Complimenting the crazy guy’s hair helps, as does turning the subject away from how weird this all is.

…That is a compliment, isn’t it?? But if Klavier isn’t careful Koujaku really will bring out the sharp objects. He’s carrying plenty of those around as it is—presumably to compensate.

You never know when someone needs their split ends taken care of. ]

So maybe I’m looking to make your day just a bit nicer. [ Oh hell no. ]

[ To a certain degree, he doesn't mind the happiness. Goodness knows after where he was before, the cheer and bright completely trumps the doom and gloom.

So, at that, he can't help but smile as he figures why the hell not, it's not like he has anything on him to steal and if he's going to get taken out, why not go out looking at someone handsome. You know, before he has to bolt off.

YOLO, and all that. He smirks and steps up closer, hands in his pockets as he leans over to look Koujaku right in the eye. ]

Funny, I was thinking of doing the same for you, handsome. With a million-dollar smile like yours, you could make the world flip upside down, ja?

[ Which he might have to do to him instead if this guy proves dangerous. ]

So how about you rock my world first, then? We could start with your name. [ And identification. ] Guy who knows how to look this stylish ought to have a rocking name to go with it, ja?

[ Just in case he needs to file a crazy person report. ]

[ Look at that sultry plant life wending its way out of the topiary like a pair of hips sashaying towards him. It ain’t no snake, but it’s green and slick and happy to see him.

He’d backed away from it immediately when it started moving, aiming for him with a hungry look in its noneye until he figured out that, well—that wasn’t an eye. Next thing he knew there were several of those things pouring out from behind some shadowy tangle of wood—and later they’d both realize that it was part of some errant science experiment that broke out of its cage.

Fuck that, though. He could appreciate CERES’s penchant for the baser pleasures, but even he had to draw the line between seriously hot and seriously holy shit what’s going on what don’t come any closer!!!

He freed himself a moment later, after having chopped up several of them that had got too close—and one of them had gotten too close, by squeezing its malleable little body and basically threading its way underneath his clothes until it swelled up under the seat of his pants and latched on to…

Of course the staff had rescued him from most of the danger, albeit they weren’t able to excise that length of tubular mass about a foot long and throbbing between his legs and it was just too much.

Next thing anyone knows they’re hurling down the streets at a little below the upper speed limit, alarms blaring, until a gurney bursts into Megumi’s view with a man moaning under a blanket that does little but to highlight that bulge rising up from therein.

Koujaku stares at her with terror in his eyes and his dick twitching above him like its own pick-up line. ]

[ That gentle plant, only desiring the love that can come from sucking on privates has found a wonderful love to splurge its desire on, of course- it would be the thought Megumi would have if she was at all capable of any thought but abject horror as the gurney is moved in and she's handed the quick report to fill out while he's settled into the emergency room.

Raging erections requiring an emergency is nothing she hasn't heard of, but from the horrified look the guy is giving her, she's actually quite certain this isn't this guy's attempt at trying to pick up a nurse in the hospital. After a quick explanation from the humanoid EMT, Megumi's own eyes go wide in shock as they travel over the covered form of the man and with the clipboard in hand, she makes her way over to Koujaku's side, wishing for once that standard procedure didn't require her to do this-

Actually, to hell with the default line. ]

... as happy as you might be to see us, we don't have much time for pleasantries. You've been attacked by a... [ She can't believe this ] Sucktrap. It's capable of injecting a small dose of stimulant and aphrodisiac into your skin and we have to extract you from it immediately before you end up with a raging boner for the next week.

[ There's no gentle way to put it and she moves her hand to his arm, looking at him firmly as they begin to wheel him towards the operation theater. ]

Can you breathe? What's your full name? Why the hell did you have your pants down in front of it? Keep talking to me.

[ Alas, the little guy only wanted to be loved. Maybe everyone would’ve been a lot more sympathetic of it—what’s a little earnestness in the face of a cruel winter stuck in some glass jar with a bunch of coldhearted scientists poking at you all day? The moment it had seen red it knew that, despite the bold colors generally signifying POISON!! in the animal kingdom, there was warmth underneath those broad, sultry petals and…

Well shit if plants could think that deeply then folk might start being of two minds about this whole colonizing a jungle planet thing. Whatever its thoughts, none of it save its undying love is transmitted to Koujaku’s skin in the most wonderfully painful way imaginable. It’s like being in one of those hentai shows some of the guys at Beni-Shigure are into. He hadn’t gotten it until now but he’d always imagined that he wouldn’t be at the business end of a plant tentacle and he needs his mommy.

Koujaku barely even hears the name of this…thing holding him captive like the world’s most enthusiastic fleshlight, but when she asks for his name he manages to break his terrified and simultaneously embarrassed moans into something like a whimper: ]

Kou… [ He takes a deep breath as the thing outright wiggles between his legs, like it’s burrowing into his crotch or some shit. The mental image makes him flush and shudder at the same time. He hears something about pants and the sucktrap outright squeezes around him like it’s jealous of Megumi taking his dick away from it and Koujaku practically screams— ]

It’s Kou—SHIT! [ He turns away from her and gamely attempts to bury his face into the other side of the gurney. This is just too much. ]

[ She... might be feeling sorry for him. She doesn't know yet, because guys are usually the very intelligent morons who like stuffing things that should not be stuffed up their bodies... into their anal cavities. Of course, there are some who like doing things the other way around, ways that she's not had to actually experience witnessing, but the fact that they exist at all is enough to make her lose hope in the general human race.

However, it's when the guy screams in pain that she moves quickly, her thoughts pushed aside and her hand moving to his head in a somewhat comforting gesture as they continue to move him. ]

Alright, Koushit, listen to me. Your plant lover is about ten seconds from completely making love to your testicles and making you have its babies so I'm going to need you awake for this. The moment you stop struggling, I can't guarantee it's going to be entirely merciful. It's only being this insistent because you're putting up a fight. That's a bloody good thing.

[ And as she talks, the operation theater's lights, bright and hopeful like the serene song of angels slide over them and she's grateful that the other surgeons already have their masks on because she knows some of them are grimacing and choking back embarrassed (and horrified) laughter behind them. She would, too, but she's got some tact. Some.

Her hand quickly moving to Koujaku's jaw and turning it to make him forcibly look at her, she gives him a determined look. ]

Don't worry. We'll make this break-up nice and clean. With luck, you'll actually use it again, but I'll be perfectly happy to leave it on if you don't tell me what you did to get it latching onto you like that. Because those things do not attack unless you bothered them making out with another plant.

[ With the force of a scolding teacher, she's ready to punish him if she learns the fault was with him. ]

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[ Closed to Lulu ] Cerealia Catch-All Party Time

Klavier

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and here too because everyone needs a spot of sunshine

Megumi

FORGIVE MEEEEEE

AND FORGIVE ME AS WELLLLLLLL SHAHNI WHERE DID TIME GO ;A;

While I'm on a roll, why the hell not.